My Testimony of the Savior’s Atonement

When I was sixteen, I felt strongly impressed by the Spirit, for I knew it was the Holy Ghost speaking to me, that I should read the Book of Mormon and get my patriarchal blessing. I will be eternally grateful that I heeded that counsel, as my course to stay on the straight and narrow came because the scriptures and prayer became an everyday part of my life. I would need to be very strong for the terrible trials that I would face.

There was a time years ago when I thought my life was so broken that I would never be able to be put back together. In fact, I remember crying out and saying, “Heavenly Father, You can’t fix me. I am too broken.” In my mind, I felt that it was as if I were a glass that had been dropped off the Empire State Building. One would never find all the shards of glass, as they would be so shattered and scattered. Perhaps the Savior smiled and said to me, “You will learn that My Atonement has all power, that I am the Master Potter, and that your broken vessel will become not only whole, but also beautiful.”

As I continued to experience gut-wrenching challenges, my own deep feelings of fear, failure, and inadequacy seemed overwhelming. But I remained faithful in praying and studying the scriptures. My fears motivated me to develop stronger faith and to put that faith into action. I remember thinking one day, if the Savior is who He says He is, and He did atone for my sins and all the sins committed against me, then all the sins committed by whomever, all the weaknesses, shortcomings, and whatever I suffered would be overcome by His Atonement. If what He says is true and He can’t lie, I can be whole.

There was a terrible list of things that had happened to me or to my immediate family. I include the list:

• Overwhelming weaknesses
• Child physical abuse
• Child sexual abuse
• Emotional abuse
• Homosexuality
• Rape
• Abortion
• Infidelity
• Prison
• Divorce
• Pornography
• Having eight children with no means to support them
• Multiple attempts of suicide by different family members
• Assault
• Death
• Mental illness
• Depression
• Cancer
• 15 surgeries performed on me
• Loss of friends and family
• Drug addiction
• Dishonesty
• Betrayal
• Fraud
• Serious disease
• Injuries
• Legal battles
• Several moves within a short period of time
• Loss of finances and temporal things

I remember preparing for that prayer of faith, going into my bedroom and kneeling down to pray. I knew this was going to be a different prayer in that I was praying specifically for the power of the Savior’s Atonement to take effect in my life. But as I prayed, I felt to pray in faith with all the energy of my soul. I asked for forgiveness for anything that I had done to hurt others. I was specific. And then I prayed over a number of very sad, horrific, and terrible things that had happened to me or to my immediate family.

As I prayed in faith, exercising faith in the Savior’s Atonement, I felt something happening to me. I felt Heavenly Father’s love. I felt a power working inside my body. There were tears and deep emotion as I bared my soul, humbled myself, and opened my heart. I allowed myself to feel not just the love of the Savior, but also the power of His Atonement cleansing me and healing me.

I realized when I got up from that prayer that it was faith, humility, and a broken heart that had given me access to the Savior’s Atonement. The terrible pain I had felt for years was replaced with peace, love, and joy. I had now experienced what the prophets had spoken of in the Book of Mormon. I had been overcome by the Spirit and unable to utter. It was as if time and space stood still. I was no longer a broken vessel but was whole. I marveled that I was whole, full of the Spirit, and filled with His love. I knew I had been born again. If a gift could be had that truly would be greater than all the treasures of the earth, it had been bestowed upon me.

Since that day I have never been the same. I was astonished at the power and love that I felt, and that I now knew for myself that the Savior did indeed have all power.

There have been several miracles that need to be mentioned. His magnificent Atonement was for me that day. It was an event where I was healed spiritually and emotionally. In the years since that initial Atonement prayer, and through several other sacred experiences, I have been taught that part of Gethsemane was just for me. I feel connected to the Savior in ways that cannot be expressed in words.

I have learned that His Atonement is not only for sins and other sad and terrible things we have experienced because of others’ choices, but the Lord suffered for our infirmities. He knows our individual circumstances and weaknesses.

Then there is also this amazing enabling power. Certainly, I have read about the enabling power in the scriptures and in numerous talks and conference addresses. But again, through faith, priesthood blessings, and a desire on my part, I have been able to accomplish impossible things with the Lord’s power. Weak things can become our greatest strengths. Still later, I would come to understand and feel the sanctifying and purifying power that can only come by grace and the power of the Holy Ghost.

It is now many years later. I have had more terrible trials. Many times I have gone before Heavenly Father and asked, “Heavenly Father, please heal me up by the power of Thy Son’s Atonement.” And He does.

Now I need to say this. What the prophets and apostles have taught us for years is true. Keeping the Sabbath day holy, taking the sacrament with purpose, reading the scriptures, praying, attending the temple, and serving others will keep the Spirit in our lives every day, not just sometimes. My treasure is not in things, but in knowing and feeling God’s love every day of my life. It is having the power to live in joy no matter what comes, and while enduring, enduring well, as I help to build up Zion in the latter days.

Has my life been filled with adversity? Yes! But I am happy and full of joy as the spiritual blessings and my knowledge of God have increased to the point I am overcome. I cannot believe that a simple mortal woman can be so blessed.

I absolutely know that God the Father is real. I absolutely know that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the living God. I absolutely know that Joseph Smith is a prophet, and that the Book of Mormon, which he translated, is the word of God. We have a living prophet. I pray we will listen to him and follow his counsel as if God Himself said it.

February 2016

Camille Cornaby

Addendum

Months after I wrote down this testimony of the Savior’s Atonement, the most heartbreaking challenge of all would take place. Through fraud, I would lose everything again for the fourth time. This would happen with someone I thought was a trusted friend.

I was heartbroken. I prayed mightily again and felt the power of His Atonement heal me.

One of the greatest things I have learned through all the terrible things that have happened to me is how important it is to forgive others. The Savior’s mission was to take upon Himself our sins, to forgive each of us if we will repent. Can we not be forgiving toward others for their sins if, in fact, the Savior suffered for our sins?

I have learned to see others as the Savior does. I have learned how important it is not to judge. There is so much we don’t know about each other. And even if a person means harm, I want to pray for them. I wouldn’t wish hell on my worst enemy.

When I stay very close to the Savior through deep, meaningful prayer, through scripture study, and regular temple attendance, I feel peace, love, and joy, the fruits of the Spirit; and just as the people whom King Benjamin taught in Mosiah 4:13 in the Book of Mormon, “And ye will not have a mind to injure one another...” I must not think ill of others, but will forgive them of their trespasses.

Having the love of God always in my heart is joyful, and that joy takes all the pain away that has or could be inflicted upon me. In all eternity, I will never be able to thank God enough for His Only Begotten Son. May we all seek the Savior and become like Him, preparing each day to live with Him forever.